Was that my choice of letting her go..?

You wait to see her everyday, you get goosebumps when you see her. You long to be with her, yet you are so indifferent when she is around. There comes a time in everyone's life when you meet him/her, so did it come for me. Was I too future driven or was I too matured, was I too assuming, or was I conclusive. The signs with which any girl would be assured that the guy is not into her were my only signs for her.

1) I did not make a physical contact (no deft, I am not talking of the intimate physical contact), I am talking of the contact with which we show the affection we have for her. I did not hold her hands while crossing the road, nor did I touch her by the waist while entering a party.This was despite she leaned at me and cuddled for a touch and I was a fool to avoid any eye contact and maintained a constant distance.

2) I did not call her post 'our' dates, yes I know there is no excuse for not calling but I always had not one but many, one of which was (why should I call?) which is ofcourse a lil nasty. Though I liked her ( well like is a super diluted term for what I had for her) and wanted to talk to her but never did call her but always waited for her to call only for me to criticise her.

3) I criticised her like no one would have ever done, though that was for good she never realised it and I kept weakening my case by doing it everytime with even more force.

The above signs just shows that I was not at all into her, but that was not true so what went in my head for doing all this to someone I cried for, someone I wanted for the rest of my life, someone who was the angel of my eyes, and someone whose smile took away all my worries.

Why did I lose her then , why did I let her go, why dint I tell her how do I feel for her. These are the questions I'll never have an answer to or will I ?